Resuming Sex After Childbirth: Who Said It Was Easy?

August 24, 2021

Resuming Sex After Childbirth: Who Said It Was Easy?

Childbirth can put a strain on a woman's body and mind.   Some gave birth by cesarean section, others underwent an episiotomy ... not to mention hormonal changes,   lochia  ...
Clearly, all these factors can inhibit libido and impact the sexual activity of parents.  However, resuming sexual intercourse after childbirth contributes to the balance of the couple.  If everyone agrees on the fact that the recovery must be done smoothly and at the pace of each one: how does it go, in practice?

1. Give the woman's body time to recover

Several physiological factors in women should be taken into account before considering resuming sexual intercourse after childbirth:

  • After childbirth,   the cervix   remains open for almost 4 weeks.  During this period, bacteria could enter the vagina and travel up to the uterus.  This is why it is strongly advised not to take baths, to go to the swimming pool… and to have sex!
  • The hormonal changes associated with childbirth can cause   vaginal dryness   in the new mother, and this for several weeks after childbirth.
  • Moms who have had an episiotomy may have a   painful scar   for several months after childbirth.  They will most likely want to   take care of their scar  before considering sexual activity.
    Likewise, in case of cesarean section, it is advisable to wait a few weeks for the scar to improve.

2. Give the woman time to regain her libido

  • After childbirth, a woman's body will secrete   prolactin  , a hormone that helps the initiation of   breastfeeding  .
    But this hormone is also the hormone of   attachment .  She helps the mother to bond with her child, who becomes the center of her priorities… and inevitably, her libido suffers.
  • The   tiredness   due to lack of sleep also tend to lower libido.


Your little one will eventually adopt a more regular sleep pattern, which should give you a little more breathing room.  But in the meantime, the priority is to   rest !

3. Adapt your sexual intercourse after childbirth

Parents can only be advised to listen to each other and wait until both are ready before resuming sexual activity.
However, it is not essential to wait for a burning desire to resume sexual intercourse after childbirth.
Thus, sexuality can begin again gradually and without vaginal penetration at first… Perhaps it is the moment to rediscover oneself and try new things?

In addition, when the woman feels ready for vaginal penetrations, we can only advise you to:

  • Remember to use a lubricant the first few times, to limit any worries related to the vaginal dryness of the woman
  • Stop immediately in case of pain, which could permanently block sexuality.

A JOONE dad testifies ...

After giving birth, I thought everything was going to be “like it was before”, and right away.  I never imagined the effects that pregnancy and childbirth would have on the resumption of our sexuality.  No one had prepared us for this.  For example, I discovered the existence of lochia, which for me came out of nowhere.
My wife had a big episiotomy, which took a long time to heal.  She was very anxious and was afraid of being in pain.  It took several months before considering penetrative sex again.
I naturally waited for her green light, I didn't want to impose anything on her… that's the minimum I could do, after everything she had suffered during her childbirth ...
The first attempt was very complicated because it hurt from the start.  We did not insist, and we gave ourselves time ... During this period, we were still able to do other things that made it possible to stir up carnal love ...

Felix, JOONE dad.

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